Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
