i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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