So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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