I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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