DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
