I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
