I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
