Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
