Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
