remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
