Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
