whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
