Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
