just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize