Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
