Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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