I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
