Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
