I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
