True but thats because hes a fetus.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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