Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
NoShamevember. You game?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
