Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
