problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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