I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
