bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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