It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
