he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize