if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
