I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
