I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
