I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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