Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
as a side note pls kill me
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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