Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
