You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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