do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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