David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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