I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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