some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize