He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
