NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
