oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
