that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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