K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
