ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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