She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
