Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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