So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
