Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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