If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
