I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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