I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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