he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
