Im at strip club and am horny
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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