There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize