If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
