We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Randomize
