Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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