Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My balls are so social today.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
