so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize