i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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