I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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