Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
