Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
We got so high we made milksteak
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
