My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
