she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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