Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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