I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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