I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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